So,it's been a while. I have been going nonstop, even after finals it didn't stop: Christmas shopping, family activities, Colorado trip, etc. Things seem to all happen at once and as it's all happening, it's very hard to see all the details of the precious seconds that are incessantly flying by. I really do my best to savor time, to cherish moments, but I always seem to get mixed up in all that's happening around me everyday. I keep a journal so I have time to reflect in my life and look back on different experiences, but even so, I find myself going an entire month without writing in it. It's ridiculous, really. All of this rushing around that we do, all of this worrying we do, all of this pressure we feel to live up to the world's standards. I find myself so wrapped up in it all that I always seem to forget what I'm really here for. I hate that about myself, and I know I'm not on my own in that on going battle. As a college student who also works full time and is active in my church, I empathize with those that have a chaotic life. I know how overwhelming it can be when you don't have a peaceful moment for weeks on end. Why is it that the one place we can receive that peace from tends to linger to the bottom of our priorities?
"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need." -Matthew 6:33
So if God is going to supply all of our needs, why do we so easily get caught up in the day-to-day? Why do we fret over every circumstance that creeps onto our path? The uncertainty of my future is what gets to me the most. Just thinking the word "future" creates this intricate chain of thoughts that inevitably consumes my head and results in maddening worry.
"Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" -Matthew 6:27
I'm undoubtedly a huge worrier. I find myself always worrying about one thing or another. And if there's nothing to worry about, I worry about not having anything to worry about, as if I'm being negligent. Funny thing is, everything always seems to fall into place. There's not a time that I can think of where things have not fallen into place, that have not worked out for the better. So, why? Why the heck to I worry?
The second I asked Christ into my heart, I turned over the reigns, I gave up control, so why do I think I can just take back that control? Why do I even want to? Where is my trust, my faith? Last night, my best friend and I went to Austin Stone, and the message was so powerful to me. The scripture included Hebrews 3:1-4:13. What it boiled down to was that the very core of every sin is unbelief. I personally had never had that perspective on sin. Sin is terrible, yes, but seeing it as unbelief put a different meaning to it. Unbelief that our Father, our Creator, doesn't have it under control, that He doesn't know what's best for us.
Of course, I already knew worrying is a sin and I've been working on it for a good while now. I also knew that I needed to trust God during those times that I get so overwhelmed with worry, but I'd never fully grasped that I wasn't believing in Him and His promises to me. This not only applies to worrying, but to all sin. God's Word is full of His promises for us, and they will be fulfilled.
That's what happens when you get caught up in this world and get too busy for what really matters. You take your focus off of Him, off of what you're here for and you attempt to take control of things for yourself. Then, when they start slipping away, you worry. You freak the heck out! Why must we do this to ourselves, over and over again?
"Be still, and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10
Incidentally, I'm very excited for this new year that I've been blessed with and what it has to offer. There are going to be so many changes in my life, so many opportunities. I'm graduating in May, moving in July, kicking off my career, etc. I can't wait to see what He has in store :]
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
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