My room at my apartment is an absolute disaster right now. Clothes thrown everywhere, dust collecting on my dresser, my bed left unmade, laundry piling up. A likely condition resulting from complete neglect. I got home from Missouri last Sunday night and had to stop by my apartment on my way to my parents' house. I deliberately avoided opening the door to my room, knowing what would I'd be faced with if I opened it. What I needed to pick up was sitting in my living room on the coffee table. I quickly grabbed what I needed, locked up, and left. Maybe I should also disclose that I stayed at my parents' house all but one night the week before.
I can't help but feel that there's something more beneath the surface of my current situation.
Doesn't this very much describe how we often deal with things in our lives? How we deal with issues in our hearts, in our families, in our friendships, in our relationships? We know there's a mess. We know it needs to be cleaned up and dealt with, but we also know that it's going to take more than a simple "quick fix". It's going to take time. It's going to take some investment and who has the time or energy at the end of the day to invest in such "petty" things? "We're so tired," "We're so busy," or "It's no big deal." It's Satan's foothold and it certainly is a big deal. Give him that foothold and you'll watch things fall apart. Either in a heartbeat or very slowly. I just finished with finals. I work full-time. I'm figuring out my future, since I just graduated. I had my trip to Missouri. Cleaning my room was the last of my worries. It was a wreck. But no worries, I'll just go stay at my parents' house in my clean room so I don't have to face it. I'll just patch up the issue and deal with it later. Just run away.
What's it going to take to get me to walk into the room and say, "Okay, I'm ready to overcome. I'm ready to deal with this. I'm ready to fix this." How far out-of-hand will I let it get before I'm "ready"? How long do I go on pretending there's not an issue at all. A disagreement with a friend, dissonance in your heart, bitterness toward a once close loved one, your relationship with God. Whatever it is you've swept under the rug.
It's sad to say that we too often let things get beyond repair. (And of course I say that to mean beyond human repair, because I wholeheartedly believe nothing is impossible for my Savior - Luke 18:27) How often to we merely give up on repairing and dealing with things rather than calling on Jesus for strength, for guidance, for healing?
Perhaps sometimes we just feel like it's not worth it. You pretend like you didn't care that much in the first place, and thus you aren't grieved or burdened at all. You even go as far as honestly forgetting the mess is there at all. I leave the door to my room shut, lock up, and walk away. It doesn't make the mess vanish, it just keeps it out of sight. Keeps it tucked away where it won't interfere with your life. But the issue remains until you face it. Sure, it's going to be tough. It may be time consuming, a long process. You aren't in this alone though. God says to come to Him with your mess, all your baggage. When you're finally broken down and torn open, when that mess is too much for you to handle, beyond all human repair, God says that He's your strength, your counselor, your shoulder to cry on, your comfort. "Cast all your cares on me," He says. What's beyond your repair, your strength, your ability, isn't beyond his.
He makes His offering. He opens Himself up for you, extends His hand, but it's up to you to take it. What are you neglecting? What have you let get "beyond repair"? What is your mess?
Maybe it's about time to open that door and face my mess. To finally take His hand and face it, knowing I'm never alone in it.
