LOST

Do you ever find yourself completely lost? Like you just wake up one day and wonder what the heck you're doing here and, even more, where are you going? Perhaps it's merely mundane-ness of the day-to-day, or you're striving in your career, or your heart just aches for something you can't quite put your finger on. For me, I feel like I'm stuck in the middle. I'm done with school, but I've yet to really start my career. I want to just take off and move to Seattle, but I'm too worried about how I'm going to pay off student loans to take such a great risk. My heart feels weary all of the time. I have all of these desires - to go on a mission trip, to find a great job that I love, to serve the Lord - and I feel like it's so hopeless sometimes. I'm somewhere in between, stuck in the middle, of preparing for my life and actually starting it. I feel lost. What am I doing here?

And that's really the question that needs answering, isn't it? What am I doing here? You see, I'm so caught up in, "I'll be happy when..." (finish the sentence yourself) that I've failed to consider, "Why have you put me here God? What is my purpose in where I'm at right now?" I'm so focused on the things I don't have, the things that await me in my future that I've neglected the purpose God has in mind for me for the here and now. It may sound absurd that God has a reason for you being exactly where you are right now, in every single moment of your day, but He does.

I often forget my reason for being - my purpose for being in this world. And losing sight of that purpose causes an immediate and overwhelming doubt. I've been utterly consumed by this doubt and discouragement lately.

I'm reminded of Ecclesiastes, a book in the Bible written by Solomon which serves as a warning to us of searching for meaning in the this world, apart from God. We're here for God, but we're constantly trying to find our meaning in this world. When we find that it is meaningless, that's when we wake up feeling lost. Finding our meaning in this world is pointless, "like chasing the wind." Our meaning and purpose is found in Him and Him alone.

Yes, we "press on to reach the end of the race and receive the Heavenly prize for which God is calling us" (Phil 3:13-14), but we must "run with purpose in every step" (1 Cor 9:26) of that race. That means, right now, right here, in the mundane of the day-to-day, in the midst of all your striving, when you feel you're stuck in the middle, God has a purpose.

"God has made everything beautiful for its own time." (Ecc 3:11)

"The Lord directs the steps of the Godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." (Ps 37:23)

Not only the "big" things, the details. God doesn't neglect the small things. He delights in them.

So, God, why am I here right now? What are you wanting from me in this moment?