Forbidden Fruit

Temptation. Our desires for ungodly things, for worldly things. Something we constantly deal with. Something we have to resist. Another battle for us every day. And it's a battle we must be prepared for, or we're going to get sucked right in.

Where does temptation stem from? Why would we possibly want something that God clearly does not want for our lives? Why would we choose defeat? The answer is quite simply our doubts. Any trace of doubt creates temptation, thus I am only tempted as long as my unbelief remains. We have unbelieving hearts. This never-ending fight against my unbelief is getting exhausting - my heart is growing weak, and temptation is knocking at my door.

Oh the joys of being tempted - and giving into it despite your best efforts. We're faced with temptation on a daily basis. It can be as simple as telling a white lie or gossiping. Or it can be much more complex and involved. Either way, it creeps up here and there and sometimes we're prepared, but other times, we cave, we crumble, and we surrender to it.

Satan loves to watch us fall. He loves to twist our thoughts and desires and make our temptations so attractive, so irresistible. Usually, all it takes is a peek and we're goners. Satan knows our weaknesses and he targets them with all of his might, anything to draw us from the heart of God. He also focuses our attention on things that are forbidden to us, taking our sights off the many blessings God has bestowed upon us. He makes us feel like God is holding out on us, keeping something from us. Something we have a "right" to. (How naive) He tears our guards and defenses down, leaving us completely open and vulnerable in the critical places. The places he knows we will give into the easiest.

Look at it from the very beginning, the very first temptation - Satan vs. Eve. Satan takes her focus off the rest of the garden - her perfect shalom - and keeps it solely on the one thing she "cannot" have. (I put it in quotes because we do have the choice)

"...he asked the woman, 'Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?'
'Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,' the woman replied. 'It's only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat...'"
-Genesis 3:1-3

He focuses our sights on the forbidden fruit. And I'm like, "Good grief Eve, LOOK AT THE REST OF THE GARDEN, YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE PERFECT SHALOM!" Lord knows how badly I want to know what shalom looks like, feels like, tastes like. I just want to go back and have an intervention here. Punch her in the face, you know.

"'You won't die!' the serpent replied to the woman. 'God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.'"

Satan makes her feel like eating the fruit God has told her not to eat isn't wrong, that in fact it would be good for her, benefiting her. He also says, "God is holding out on you." God is keeping something from you, and that's just not fair.

"The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and she ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too."
-Genesis 3:4-6

That's it? The woman was convinced?! God makes you a perfect world, a world that knows no sin, and you have doubts that He has your best interest in mind? You are a fool! An absolute fool! (Can you sense how infuriated I am?) Then I take a second to reflect, and I realize, I'm just like her. It really is that easy to convince me, too. Because I don't believe you, God. That statement somehow lingers in our hearts.

So, Eve falters. She looks, takes, eats, and then gives it to Adam. And you know how the story goes on for the rest of us. We fight the battle. And are hearts are tired - so tired - of fighting against these temptations. In our weaknesses, we surrender, knowing how it will also end up for us.

So I sit here, faced with my temptation, my weakness, contemplating how to deal with it. "What do I do?"

First of all, put on God's armor. He did not give us Ephesians 6:13 merely to provide a pretty word picture of a medieval knight.

"Therefore, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere."
-Ephesians 6:13-18

I need to start arming myself, putting on God's armor daily. I must pray for strength, for God's strength to overcome my weakness to temptation. (And not only for myself, but for all believers. We're all faced with temptation and we're all in this together.)

Additionally, do not chase after temptation. Do not even wander near it. Take precautions. Preventative control. The solution to my particular situation is actually quite simple - run. Like Joseph did in Genesis 39:10-12, sometimes we must take off in the opposite direction.

"Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts."
-2 Timothy 2:22

So why am I not doing so? Knowing all of this, why do I step closer and closer to the fire that is luring me to my defeat? Why is my heart like that of Lot? The heart that creeps closer and closer to sin, that settles right next to Sodom (Genesis 13:10)? The heart that wants to taste. The heart that is completely vulnerable to temptation. Why don't I believe you, God? Why do I doubt that you know what is best for me? This is where the real struggle lies. In every temptation and every sin, our struggle lies in that piece of us that does not believe. In times of temptation, we must believe. He knows what's best. And we have to trust that. Believe it.

I need to run. Run as Joseph ran from Pharaoh's wife. Run straight to the arms of my Father, not looking back. Run to His protection from my weakness - let Him be my strength. I need to believe Him.

Yet, I just stand here... looking at and admiring the deadly fruit, fixated on it, deepening my already irresistible desire for it, my unbelief taking over. I am open. I am vulnerable.

Lord, please, help me move.